Wednesday, February 1, 2012

We are so fortunate

We have two wonderful amazing times they stress us out, but in the end of the day, we are so very blessed by them. Meghan and I can pretty much have a baby at will...or it feels that way. Sometimes we feel like its a curse, but really its a blessing. Today, I think of my friends who haven't been so fortunate. We have a few friends who try and try to have a baby and can't. Some of them finally did after a year of trying and others, well I guess it wasn't in God's plan for them right now. We've also had some friends who have gotten pregnant only to have soul crushing news delivered to them.

We are SO fortunate to not have had to go through these things. I never want to forget that or take it for granted.

Everyone has their trials and tribulations that they go through, they are necessary for growth and refinement of our character. Most recently a college friend of mine, Kris Heller, blogged about their latest trip to the OB, they were so excited to find out the sex of their new (first) baby. Here is an excerpt...
We told the ultrasound tech that we wanted to have the baby's health & measurements done first before finding out what the sex of the baby was. We wanted to save the best for last...

Within two minutes, our whole world crashed.

The ultrasound tech paused, saying that there was a problem. All I remember was my heart beating so fast & loud that I thought it was on the overhead sound system. I thought I was going to pass out as she focused on the baby's head. She measured the baby's head... there was more fluid than usual in her head. That wasn't the only thing. There was a small fluid cyst on the back of her head, too.

My husband was on the verge of passing out. He was seeing black spots, feeling dizzy.
I've gotten some bad news in my life (the call from Beth and Karl about our rental house being filled with sewer water would be right up there) but this would be at a whole new level. I imagine my life if either of our two amazing kids hadn't made it through to be with us. My life would be so different. My outlook on life might be so different. The doctor sent them to a specialist...40 minutes away. What an awful car ride that must have been.
We had to drive 40 mins to the specialist... so many tears. I think our hearts cracked right in half that day.

At the specialist, I don't remember walking up the stairs or if we took the elevator. We waited while the ultrasound tech there took a million ultrasound pictures and they were too hard to look at. I could see exactly what was wrong...  

The tech there asked if we wanted to know if it was a girl or boy.. I looked at my husband not knowing if I even wanted to know at this point. He said yes, and she said it was a little girl..

My little girl. The one I'd been hoping for... the one I dreamed about.. and she has unbelievable problems.

The Specialist came in and was very matter-of-fact. He spoke as he went over the pics and did an ultrasound at the same time, yet again, pointing out the horrific problems...  the problems didn't stop there. He highlighted her kidneys saying they were enlarged, not really functioning... barely any amniotic fluid being produced. The prognosis: lethal. "Not viable to sustain life."

Imagine hearing that..
I want to ask everyone that reads this...which might not be many since I don't blog anymore (I really enjoy it though and need to just remember to do it) say a prayer for Mike and Kris. Say a prayer for all your friends that are pregnant or who want to be pregnant. Lord willing I will never have to see another one of my friends have their dreams come crashing down on them like this again!